Some days, Cracked betrays me.

My normal routine is thus;

Wake up in the morn...afternoon usually.

Do all my wake-up stuff, including putting in eyes.

Walk the dog.  (Think about really actually making real actual food today.  But probably don't and end up nuking a Hot Pocket or something equally bad.)

Turn on computer (or phone,) read Cracked.com, maybe blog, maybe not.

Today marks the day I was accidentally sortof squicked but mostly just betrayed by Cracked.
I was reading an article (This one!) and didn't even get very far when BAM!  Bacon condom.

Okay, what?

With bacon lube?

Awwwwww, gross.

Internet, I hate you!

Why must you be so disgusting!?

At first, your ridiculous, inexplicable love of bacon was cute; bacon soap, bacon towels, bacon wallet, bacon band-aids, okay, haha, you like bacon.

Then, it was gross; bacon caffeinated gum, bacon soda, bacon chocolate, bacon brittle, bacon floss...really, guys, you're going a bit overboard.  Also bacon gum in particular sounds disgusting.

But now, now, NOW I find that you've hidden bacon condoms under your bed like the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated.

TOO FAR, Internet, you've gone TOO FAR with your nasty infatuation!  There was a line, somewhere back there, and you didn't just cross it, you leapt over it with joyous abandon.  Like a long time ago.  Along with a bunch of other things I yell at you for every day.  Keep your grossness in the closet, Internet, jeez.