Should have been a Tweet

There's nothing more depressing than finding, while packing to move out, something you forgot to give to a deceased family member.

Confessions

I give my sister a lot of grief for genuinely liking Twilight. Perhaps I shouldn't, but I'm the little sister and my job is to torment any older siblings I may have. Hey, sis you're almost thiiiirtyyy (so old! ancient!) But you know, I like some really stupid shit. I confess I have a soft spot for: Nickelback. 80's pop. Rock operas, hell yes. Musicals, but especially campy musicals like B@tman! Shitty 8-bit-retro techno that isn't from Super Nintendo games but sure as hell sounds like it. That awful Xanth series by Piers Anthony that bursts its' pun pustules all over you on every page. It's awful and I love it. Deliberatley leeving grammer-n-typo-ridden commints on sites to feed the Grammar Nazis. Also, feeding the trolls. Literal Music Videos. Oh, oh, neon animal prints. Which are trendy again, apparently. Whatever, I can fuel my need for neon again. Diedre claims this isn't a faux-pas for me cause I've always worn stupid shit. Woo, free pass! Dinosaurs? I guess most people grow out of that phase (how could you, you traitors!) I'm kinda terrified, actually, that there's something I love that is phenomenally stupid and I can't recognize it. I'm sure there is, actually. Anyway, in other news, I'm moving out in August (finally.) But now I'm researching internet and electric companies and I'm lil bit terrified. What the hell did I do augh! I suppose I will keep you informed as things progress. If I feel like it. Mom tells me not to joke about Nathan going bald cause it gives him a complex. Oh, oops! Sorry!

Addendum

I may be a colossal nerd, but this is the best comic I have ever seen: http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2604#comic Also, if you have not yet watched the entirety of Holy Musical B@man you should, because it is also the best thing ever. That is all.

Expectations

Well I'm about 94% sure that I have defeated all the bedbugs in my room (is that what you were calling about, Nathan?) On the other hand, it is now mosquito season so I'm getting bitten anyway only now it's accompanied by an annoying buzzing and intense itching instead of just intense itching (and gross factor.) I've spent all my free time lately playing Mass Effect instead of something productive, like cleaning my room again/still/continuously or ...watching mom organize her books in an attempt to convince my sister that she has, in fact, been keeping track of them all along. I think I will get her a barcode scanner for her birthday because this nonsense is ridiculous. Anyway I miss being in grade school cause I had a ton more time to play the ridiculous backlog of video games I have. Seriously I'm like two years behind and getting further behind. Also, since my sister and her hubby-wubby are coming to visit, the nice cool weather we've been having will definitely go away. You will have poor timing, mark my words! I'm going to be working on my birthday again. Woo? Speaking of work I guess it's weird that I frequently eat while watching the surgeries or while we're making dogs puke all over. I mention that it might be weird because the other techs give me the weirdest "that-is-the-grossest-thing-ever-how-could-you-possibly-eat" faces, which is kinda entertaining, actually. I guess I objectively recognize when things are disgusting but I don't actually feel disgusted/nauseated/repulsed by them. Other than smells, smells can be pretty nauseating. I'm still waiting on moving out because I can't decide whether I really want a roommate or if Danielle will actually be available as a roommate and mom won't let me leave until I'm absolutely sure there are no more bedbugs. Also I'm lazy and don't want to clean my room (perpetually.) And, mom doesn't want me to pay for an apartment with a washer/dryer/wd connection so that I have to come back home to do laundry. Especially considering the fiasco that occurred the last time someone I knew used a laundromat. My laptop keyboard sucks balls.

Dogs Again.

So I had pretty much just gone to bed last night when mom came in to tell me that she can't find my dog after letting them outside. Well of course I get up to help her look since usually they get stuck in the garage or another room somehow and we usually spend about an hour looking for Loki before he starts crying cause he's stuck in a room. Well, She-ra's not in the garage, not in the house. She's not in the yard injured or something, or under the shed. So, we hop in the car to prowl the neighborhood. I think I maybe hear her bark (it's very distinctive) but I can't tell where it is and it was so far away. I spend a lot of time convincing mom it's not likely coyotes could drag her over/under the fence, and if they had they'd go after Loki rather than She-ra. She concedes my point after saying we would have heard them tearing her into pieces anyway. Uh...thanks, mom. Thanks for the mental image. Chris kept calling to check up/ offer assistance and I'm struck with both how sweet it is that he wants to drive all the way back to my house to find my dumbass dog at 1:30 in the morning and also how I can't hear if She-ra barks if I'm on the phone. Course at this point I'm trying not to cry cause it's already been like an hour and mom had looked for her about thirty minutes beforehand, well, at least she's microchipped and has her tags on and if someone hits her or something and gives a crap I guess she'll show up at work...yay? And it's two now and I have work at eight. So we head home and check the yard one last time and head to the corner Loki had been barking at when mom had first let them out. Then I see She-ra. In the neighbor's yard. Behind the fence. Behind all the trees and shrubs covering the fence, where she couldn't jump over. Behind the fence with no holes in it. Wtf dog, bark or something, we've only been looking for you for like an hour and a half. Also, how the hell did you get over there? So I went around to the neighbor's yard and opened the gate for her and she proceeded to bolt to the house like a terrified bunny. No, seriously, how'd you get over there?

Circle of Life (or how your friends can accidentally screw you)

Well, I woke up an hour ago, itchy again. As usual I checked my bed. Guess what? This time I found bedbugs! I also found a spider, but he can stay in the hopes he eats the bedbugs or their eggs or something. Please do that, spider. Also have many spider babies and grow fat on the blood of my enemies (which, I guess, is technically also my blood) because I'd really rather have a spider infestation than a bedbug infestation.

Well, Scott, it's not that I hate you, but... I really really really hate you right now. Please pencil yourself in at the top of my Least Favorite Person in the World (right now/until I get rid of them I guess.)

I mean, I love you, you're great but fuck your bad luck I wanted no part of that!

Also, Chris, you suck too for being a little bedbug travel agency.







Fuck.



(EDIT: Well, I can't be mad at Chris anymore if I can text him at 5am complaining about bedbugs and he's here at 8am helping me clean and providing me with anti-bedbug war machines. =) )

Fuuuuuuuuuuuu

So, mom and I got some grapes and blueberries to plant in the yard. Just in case we might ever actually get fruit from them before the birds and squirrels do. Well, dad has done his usual massacre of the yard. Mutilated the wisteria as usual, left the jasmine alone for me to stare angrily at I guess? Mom says something along the lines of "omg have you seen your fig tree?"
No...no I haven't seen my fig tree. I round the corner where it's planted and I ...still don't see my fig tree. He murdered my fig tree! The only plant in the entire effing yard that he hadn't fucked up!

So now, I no longer have a big, gorgeous, healthy fig tree that fruits every year. Now I have some foot-long stumps that may be a gorgeous healthy fig tree again but will more likely be a sad, diseased and dying fig tree.

Thanks, dad! Leave my damn plants alone!

P.S. The backyard is now a lake and getting lakier by the day.