Monsters

Some days, I feel more like a monster than other days. Some days at work, I have to euthanize animals, usually for space, which is probably the stupidest reason to kill something. Sometimes, it doesn't actually bother me. Those are the times I feel guilty that I don't feel guilty. Today, I finally had to euthanize a cat that's been at work a while that I particularly liked (that I, as the hand of Death, have skipped over for almost three months now,) as well as four kittens that I've watched grow up for the past two months. Today is not one of the days it doesn't bother me. I'm so frustrated with this job,and that I'm shoving animals in cages together to try to keep from euthanizing anything, and that when we go to mobile adoptions, everyone comes to pet the cute puppies, ignore the older dogs, and make excuses for why they can't take anything home (and, on occasion, why I'm a horrible and vicious person for having to euthanize anything at all.) They tell me how they breed their animals so that their children can witness the "miracle of life," then bring the unwanted offspring here so I can handle the inevibility of death, even if I as much as tell them that I'll euthanize the animals. Not to mention the people who surrender their 10 year old dogs and cats to us because they just don't feel like taking care of them anymore, and who don't bat an eye when I tell them that, due to space issues, or health, or temperament, I'll have to murder their faithful companion. Or those that bring strays from outside our jurisdiction even when we're so, so full, and then have the gall to tell me that it's my job to help the animals and, again, I'm a horrible person for not killing other animals to take theirs. Some of these say, "I'll just dump them on the street in Pearland so that you have to take them in!" and storm out in righteous fury. How churlish of me.

It's because of days like today that I dread coming to work for my two days a week (and we haven't even officially opened yet.) Those two days have the potential to be truly loathsome.