Some days, Cracked betrays me.

My normal routine is thus;

Wake up in the morn...afternoon usually.

Do all my wake-up stuff, including putting in eyes.

Walk the dog.  (Think about really actually making real actual food today.  But probably don't and end up nuking a Hot Pocket or something equally bad.)

Turn on computer (or phone,) read Cracked.com, maybe blog, maybe not.

Today marks the day I was accidentally sortof squicked but mostly just betrayed by Cracked.
I was reading an article (This one!) and didn't even get very far when BAM!  Bacon condom.

Okay, what?

With bacon lube?

Awwwwww, gross.

Internet, I hate you!

Why must you be so disgusting!?

At first, your ridiculous, inexplicable love of bacon was cute; bacon soap, bacon towels, bacon wallet, bacon band-aids, okay, haha, you like bacon.

Then, it was gross; bacon caffeinated gum, bacon soda, bacon chocolate, bacon brittle, bacon floss...really, guys, you're going a bit overboard.  Also bacon gum in particular sounds disgusting.

But now, now, NOW I find that you've hidden bacon condoms under your bed like the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated.

TOO FAR, Internet, you've gone TOO FAR with your nasty infatuation!  There was a line, somewhere back there, and you didn't just cross it, you leapt over it with joyous abandon.  Like a long time ago.  Along with a bunch of other things I yell at you for every day.  Keep your grossness in the closet, Internet, jeez.

Haha, oops.

Well, I just realized the last post I wrote was the end of the world post. Sorry if you thought maybe I did see the end of the world or something, but it turns out I'm just extremely lazy and got bored with blogs or something. And by extremely lazy I think I mean the clinic was open 24 hours for a whole week over Christmas and New Years and I had three or four 12 hour graveyard shifts in a row.

Yes, lazy.

I guess after that I was too tired to update blag. The funny thing is I kept taking pictures and stuff and thinking, "I should blag about this! And stuff'n'things! Blaaaaaaaaaag!" And never did.

So this will, I suppose, be vomit post of spechul rainbows and stuff'n'things! Wheee!

 But first, let me walk the dog.

Wow, this dog poops a lot. Anyway, I guess I'll try to go in semi-sequential order.

Zombie family is a nice lambast of silly family stickers

O.M.G.  A nice Bengal.  Who'da thought?

A piece of wood we removed from a cat's chest...not the Bengal, I'm pretty sure.

Owl cookie jar I painted for mom, and dog photobomb.

Lambchop dog toy because I am both nostalgic and want to see She-Ra eat Lambchop.

Should I buy three batteries at $2 apiece...

Or a laser pointer and six (6!) batteries for $2?

Wh...what the...Forever 21, what is wrong with you?

I was so happy when I incidentally parked next to this guy. =)

Um...church...I think you're kinda missing the mark a little.

I guess that's the end of photodump for today.  Later I may post the like...three pictures I took at the zoo yesterday!  But probably not!

Oh, that reminds me, the zoo has a male and female clouded leopard that are 14 months old.  They're trained to be people friendly.  When they do something good, one of the keepers squirts goat milk into their mouth.  =D

End of the World, parte deux

Is it the end of the world yet? Did I sleep through it? Man, I always sleep through the important things. Are the zombies here? I've been waiting for that. Training, I mean. With Left 4 Dead. Yeah, training. Also with Batman: Arkham City. You know, in case the zombies are actually convicts or something.

Ghost?

I...I think I'm watching weird Japanese role-reversal Ghost remake. (Also called Ghost) I...what? I am so intrigued. Also weirded out a little bit. I doubt she's gonna end up singing Henry the 8th to Whoopi Goldburg, is all I'm saying. Edit: lol non-native English speaker singing Unchained Melody over pottery scene is universal!

Why am I gonna vote Green Party?

Oh, just several reasons:

• Forgive student debt
• Livable minimum wage
• Repeal Patriot Act and that indefinite detention one cause the President feels like it
• Tax cuts for businesses using sustainable energy
• Screw over Bank of America (hah!)
• Tweaking the voting system so it doesn't suck so hard...
  • easy same day voter registration
  • proportional representation instead of winner takes all (I'm looking at you, Texas, and your the whole fucking state voted Republican somehow even though 47% of the population didn't vote Republican???)
  • equal access to the ballot and debates for all qualified presidential candidates
• Reign in military spending and, possibly most importantly,
• fuck the Online Piracy Acts and keep the internet free and wonderful (and sometimes awful) for everyone!

If you would like to see complete list (or more complete anyway) of Green Party stances, click here.

If you would like to cheat and use the easy way to decide who to vote for, click here to VoteEasy.

Also I would do anything to keep Romney out of office, no, seriously, anything.




I am officially done unpacking now, in case you were wondering.

The Great Unpacking

Man am I glad I'm on to the unpacking, because I hate packing. Unpacking is always fun for all the things you forgot you ever packed, such as:

• Cheese knives (???)
• Dinosaur Crossing signs
• Assorted candle holders
• A ton of grape paraphernalia
• Including grape plates you completely forgot existed...good thing you found some plates though, you were starting to wonder how bad it would be to nuke hot pockets on paper towels! (And a bargain at 8pc for $13)
• SO. MANY. COASTERS.
• Your broken Styracosaurus statue!!!! (pause for glue repair. Laugh that spell check wants to change it to Tyrannosaurus. Resume unpacking.)
• More coasters.
• Sigh again at the vast collection of books you just...haven't...had...time...to read.
• Find letter you forgot to send to your grandmother. Cry. Decide not to open any more books for a while. Decide unpacking maybe not so fun.
• Play a game for a bit.
• Call furniture people to find out where chair is. Discover you were a victim of the scheduling system glitch. Reschedule for Friday morning, hope this does not conflict with other furniture delivery Friday morning, knowing they'll probably get here at exactly the same time.
• Finally get (most of) your furniture, realize you were sold something that wasn't exactly what they said it was. Still fighting (several days later) to get them to pick it up and return it.
• Decide that Rooms To Go has a shitty delivery/return system.
• Find more grape stuff and your pots finally.
• Delight in the fact that you can finally get rid of the stuff you've been storing for no reason and mom won't know. Get rid of some more stuff. Like these landline phones. What am I gonna do with these? By the time I actually have a landline, I'm probably going to have to buy another phone. Besides they're like $20. =P

Anyway unpacking is apparently like a three week process for me, but at least mom will have all my crap out of the attic and stuff, right? ...Right?

Should have been a Tweet

There's nothing more depressing than finding, while packing to move out, something you forgot to give to a deceased family member.