An Odd Statement

Last night, a potential client called to talk to me about how her puppy had gotten sick (it was parvovirus) and how she had just gotten this dog like three months ago (parvo...) and it was vomiting and had diarrhea (it's parvo) and how it couldn't be parvovirus because her other dogs were vaccinated (it's parvo.) even though she Dr. Google'd it and it sure sounded like parvo (because it is parvo.) and she hadn't gotten the puppy vaccinated (parvo!  also, not "not vaccinated yet," just ..."not vaccinated."  Like, with no intention of ever doing so.)

Where was I?

Oh yeah.

She wasn't sure how this puppy got sick cause it seemed like "a legit puppy."

Wait, what?

Was this dog illegitimate, as in, a bastard?  I mean, aren't all dogs?  They don't exactly have marriage certificates, wait, I take that back because some people are weird and actually have their pets get married.

Or, did she think it was a puppy and it seems to have now turned into something else?  (Besides a vomiting, diarrhea-spewing, miserable demon of illness.)  Did she think it was a puppy and on closer inspection realized it was a carefully groomed ferret?  (Which still amuses me...maybe a steroided, groomed ferret looks like a puppy but only from about 40 feet away.)

On a separate note, I seem to have become allergic to grass pollen (with a 75% certainty,) this guy is still at the zoo:

He's almost as old as I am!  Maybe IS as old!

Because we don't want illegals trimming our hedges, damnit!

Cheating!

 And,

Poor, sad Loki. =(

More Nails and Otherwise My Life is Boring

So I got my nail art crap in the mail a couple days ago and I have no life so I decided to take a break from playing video games to play with nail polish.  Jeez I need a non-stupid hobby.  Maybe like go outside or something.  I really should go back for a Masters.


Yeeeeaah, anyway!

As promised, played with the orange gradient a couple days later:

...Blogger, I hate you.

Added Pure Ice Excuse me and CoverGirl Electric Blue in a fade gradient, and my coworker had a pawprint hole puncher so yay.


Sally Hansen Calypso Blue, Sinful Colors Tokyo Pearl, Pure Ice Excuse Me, and NYC Times Square because I have a thing for blue and orange/yellow.

Blogger, wtf!?  This picture was also landscape!

Can you tell I got dotting tools?

I laugh, because I can't even center a flower using my left hand, oh no!

 You know what, Blogger, I give up.  Just do whatever the hell you want to my pictures, that's okay.







Clearly I should have stuck to WordPress.


Also, in other boring news, Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood had a weird glitch on me where instead of assassinating a guard on a horse, I took wing and flew off into the skyyyyyy to be freeeeee!

Now that I finished that one and am playing Revelations again I'm like why, Revelations, why you so sad?  You took all the nice things out of Brotherhood and gave me random crap instead? Not only that, but you randomly changed half the buttons but still didn't change the "loot and pick up weapon/body are the same button!"  And you made the HUD less pretty.  And, satellite-style map is both unpretty and largely illegible.  AUGH, I forgot that it's disappointing!  Hopefully when I get to the latest one I won't be so sad (don't spoil me!) Also jeez, Ezio, you're too old for this shit.  Retire or something, damn.

Texas DMV

So, if you've never been to Texas, the DMV really likes to put up those electronic highway signs that I can't help but think are more of a distraction than informative.  One I pass by on the way home from work says, "1332 people killed on Texas roads this year.  Don't text and drive."

Well, it really says, "1332 people killed...on Texas roads this year...Don't text and drive."  Because God forbid they figure out a way to say that that doesn't require the screen to refresh twice.

Anyway, I may be a terrible person, but I'm thinking, only 1332?  That seems really low...go Texas?

Today, I looked up some information; 13,498,071.  That is how many registered drivers we have in Texas.  Consider also that, as a border state, we probably have a couple million unregistered drivers, too.

So, uh, 0.00986%?  Jeez, Texas, call me when you hit one percent, half a percent, even.  I have more pressing things to worry about.

Perhaps I'm being too pragmatic?  Naaaah.

Nail Blog

Well, Katolin wanted me to show her pictures of my nails, since I mentioned that I play with them a bit, so I'm going to do that occasionally since I can.  Also, don't be surprised that my nails are not as ridiculously amazing as Katolin's.  For srs.

Anyway, I only change my nails once every week or two because while I get bored, I also don't want to spend oodles of time with nail polish fumes in my nose.

First thing I took pictures of:

Green hand gradient (before I heard of using a sponge) with copper sunbursty things in the corner which didn't turn out quite like I wanted but was okay.

Second thing I bothered taking pictures of:

Green gradient (same as above) with fake crackle effect on ring fingers.
Dark to light:  Avon Noir Emerald, Wet N' Wild SaGreena the Teenage Witch (didn't notice that when I bought it, haha), LA Colors Color Craze BCC 573 ( I assume one of those is a color code >_> ) and Avon Lucky Penny for the crackle.


Then I really wanted to do another gradient, but I'd gotten some teal polish finally and decided to do something different since I had chevron nail stickers from some kit (which I don't like since the glue liked my polish better than the paper.)

Darker color is NYC Tudor City Teal, lighter is Sally Hansen Mint Sorbet.


Then I decided I really liked gradients better and the previous polish was chipping, so today I did this, which will probably be added to Monday or so while I'm zoning out because of overnight shifts.

Primed with Sinful Colors Tokyo Pearl (pearlescent white), then NYC Times Square Tangerine Creme at the base, Spoiled Don't Be Cheesy which didn't show as much as I'd hoped in the middle, then Pure Ice Excuse Me at the tips.


Hallo, Deutsche Gelegenheitsleser!

Insert Imaginative and/or Informative Title Here

So I went to Target today because bf's mom gave me gift cards that she didn't write totals on, so I can be like "surprise, remaining balance!" I guess.

Anyway, how do we even have plants that produce seedless fruit?  This is mind-boggling.  Like, Plant, don't you know you're sterile?  There's no point in wasting all that energy making fruit. 

My apartment complex wants $160 more a month.  I don't want to go haggle with them.  Siiiiigh.

Some days, Cracked betrays me.

My normal routine is thus;

Wake up in the morn...afternoon usually.

Do all my wake-up stuff, including putting in eyes.

Walk the dog.  (Think about really actually making real actual food today.  But probably don't and end up nuking a Hot Pocket or something equally bad.)

Turn on computer (or phone,) read Cracked.com, maybe blog, maybe not.

Today marks the day I was accidentally sortof squicked but mostly just betrayed by Cracked.
I was reading an article (This one!) and didn't even get very far when BAM!  Bacon condom.

Okay, what?

With bacon lube?

Awwwwww, gross.

Internet, I hate you!

Why must you be so disgusting!?

At first, your ridiculous, inexplicable love of bacon was cute; bacon soap, bacon towels, bacon wallet, bacon band-aids, okay, haha, you like bacon.

Then, it was gross; bacon caffeinated gum, bacon soda, bacon chocolate, bacon brittle, bacon floss...really, guys, you're going a bit overboard.  Also bacon gum in particular sounds disgusting.

But now, now, NOW I find that you've hidden bacon condoms under your bed like the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated.

TOO FAR, Internet, you've gone TOO FAR with your nasty infatuation!  There was a line, somewhere back there, and you didn't just cross it, you leapt over it with joyous abandon.  Like a long time ago.  Along with a bunch of other things I yell at you for every day.  Keep your grossness in the closet, Internet, jeez.

Haha, oops.

Well, I just realized the last post I wrote was the end of the world post. Sorry if you thought maybe I did see the end of the world or something, but it turns out I'm just extremely lazy and got bored with blogs or something. And by extremely lazy I think I mean the clinic was open 24 hours for a whole week over Christmas and New Years and I had three or four 12 hour graveyard shifts in a row.

Yes, lazy.

I guess after that I was too tired to update blag. The funny thing is I kept taking pictures and stuff and thinking, "I should blag about this! And stuff'n'things! Blaaaaaaaaaag!" And never did.

So this will, I suppose, be vomit post of spechul rainbows and stuff'n'things! Wheee!

 But first, let me walk the dog.

Wow, this dog poops a lot. Anyway, I guess I'll try to go in semi-sequential order.

Zombie family is a nice lambast of silly family stickers

O.M.G.  A nice Bengal.  Who'da thought?

A piece of wood we removed from a cat's chest...not the Bengal, I'm pretty sure.

Owl cookie jar I painted for mom, and dog photobomb.

Lambchop dog toy because I am both nostalgic and want to see She-Ra eat Lambchop.

Should I buy three batteries at $2 apiece...

Or a laser pointer and six (6!) batteries for $2?

Wh...what the...Forever 21, what is wrong with you?

I was so happy when I incidentally parked next to this guy. =)

Um...church...I think you're kinda missing the mark a little.

I guess that's the end of photodump for today.  Later I may post the like...three pictures I took at the zoo yesterday!  But probably not!

Oh, that reminds me, the zoo has a male and female clouded leopard that are 14 months old.  They're trained to be people friendly.  When they do something good, one of the keepers squirts goat milk into their mouth.  =D