Heavy Meta-Dreaming

So last night I had a dream in which two of my friends (first Scott and Diedre, then it kinda morphed into Scott and Kelley for some strange reason) were buying me a d'annyo (apparently a crab in my dream instead of a weird spelling of a fish I had in my fishtank at one point).  Scott and I went to Diedre's fancy new house (it was epic fancy, but not mansion).  Her family was all displeased that I showed Scott where she lived now, but I successfully made the case that he'd never find the way back on his own anyway.  At some point Diedre became Kelley or something weird, because after that I woke up and told Scott and Kelley about the dream in a "hey, I had a dream about you guys last night!" manner, and we went to Kelley's house.  My laundry was at Kelley's house because Chris's mom had like...stolen all my clothes to wash them or something, and Adam was at Kelley's house singing an epic musical about my underwear (though he didn't know they were mine at the time, which I guess maybe makes it less weird...ish.)  So I told them how my underwear had gotten there, a mystery to my waking self.  Then, a grey squirrel came in the open window and everyone wanted to pet it (and did,) only every third or fourth time I petted it, it bit me.
After that, Chris called me (like I'd asked him to) to make sure I'd woken up.

Then, I realized that I'd had a dream about a dream and referenced something that had happened in another dream as an actual event.  I can't decide if my brain is just that broken or I just woke up that many times to remember that many dreams, as I've heard whenever a dream spontaneously changes location/people you've actually woken up and gone back to sleep.
It was all so very meta.

Fashionista Vista

So, for Christmas I got, among other things, a Macy's giftcard for Too Much Money. So I figured I'd go check it out since I haven't been in...might actually be a decade now. Apparently ruffles are in. Woo...ruffles...
Whilst navigating the strange terrain of the long-running department store, I came across several items which should not exist, and frankly, some of them I'm not even sure what article of clothing it's supposed to be (I hate it when someone tells me I'm wearing a dress as a skirt (this is a purely hypothetical situation as I do not buy ambiguous articles of clothing.))
Also, the sixties seem to be continuing their comeback. Aren't we tired of sixties fashions yet (again?) I saw way too many peasant blouses and paisley prints, it was getting ridiculous. Half of the clothing looked like it came right out of the old Bond movies and I'm waiting for the beehive to come back.
Alright, Macy's, let's go!

This is how you do ruffles.

This is NOT how you do ruffles.

 Ruffles, though I don't really care for them much, are feminine and can be good.  To your left you will see ruffles done the right way.  To your right you will see...wtf were they thinking?  I get the little cravat look you want to pull off, but it honestly looks like a Macy's employee took an extra large shirt and stapled all the extra fabric together down the middle (while it was on the model, no less!)

This is...borderline acceptable, I guess.

Vests are another easily misunderstood piece of clothing, aside from Macy's websites' confusion as far as "what is a vest" goes.  Vests are for if it's too cold for just a shirt but not cold enough for a jacket; alternatively, "I wore this shirt yesterday but today you won't notice because I'm also wearing a vest over it."
First we'll discuss short vests (i.e., normal vests.)

Yes.

No.

 First up, the floral print looks fleecy and warm vest.  Clearly fits in the "too cold for shirt, too warm for jacket category," has some sort of feminine print and is slightly formfitting without making you feel like a tube of toothpaste.
Hoodie vest:  always no.  Aside from the fact they had the model wear a black (hoodie) vest over a black shirt (almost like they're ashamed to show it off,) there is no reason to have a hood on it.  At all.  No woman with her hair done is going to wear a hood unless it's absolutely friggin freezing outside, in which case, they're going to wear a parka and not a cotton vest.  Also, it looks ridiculous.

Also yes-ish.

 Long vests:

Cute.

Failing miserably.

Faux fur: I agree with the sentiment, but it always looks terrible in such quantity.  Same goes for actual fur, actually.  Actually...that whole outfit is miserable.  I hope models don't actually have taste.

Heeeheh, 60s

Bonus!:  
What is this?  It is simply a travesty in and of itself.  It's like the designer woke up one day and said, "You know what?  It doesn't matter what my stuff actually looks like, so I can just totally phone it in today and people will still buy and sell it!" and then went back to have a venti chacha coffee at Starbucks.
(It's called a Cha Cha Vente Tunic and I have no idea if that's a style or a brand.)  Also, tunics are so 60s again.  This thing comes in black, "concrete," and the ever-present mauve, none of which make it look any better.





Dresses (specifically cocktail dresses, as Danielle and I perused many of them yesterday:)
Wow there are so many bad dresses I have to just pick some and stop.  It will be a plethora of pictures!

Shouldn't do one sleeve.

This is an oversized shirt, not a dress.
Definitely not a cocktail dress, Macy's...

Cute, but watch the hemline there, junior!

Oversized shirt now comes in ruffles!

Not as bad as the grey one.

MORE RUFFLES MAKE BETTER!

Some simple rules for everyday:

• A dress is not an oversized shirt.
• Ruffles do not clothing make.
• Juniors sizes (ages 12-16, generally) should not have hem that far above the knee.
• If the model looks silly in it, you will look sillier.
• Stop it with the fringe/paisley/animal prints already!  Some is okay, but market is now flooded!

Some things I found in the actual store:
[EDIT: Post will be edited upon the re-discovery of my micro SD card converter. =P ]
[EDIT EDIT: Gave up on finding the adapter, bought a card reader finally.]

This...is just wrong.  I appreciate your willingness to not wear fur and/or leather, but this by no means suggests you're allowed to mix faux fur and pleather in a hideous combination, and no, I don't care how cold it is outside.  Although, if I catch you wearing this, I will make sure you are burning with shame within ten seconds, so, yeah, I guess it can be pretty warm.  What could save this?  Not being quilted shiny pleather, for one thing.  Better faux fur would probably also help, but mostly what would help is not looking like an 80's reject.  (And this from someone who actually loves 80's fashion like an idiot, too!)

This is an abomination.

I'm not even sure what this is, but I am sure the designer should probably be shot.
I think it's a blouse?  Maybe?
Or a dress...?
This is a RUFFLES NO.  Also what's up with the cheesy flower-pin thing going on these days?
I'm sorry, just imagining someone wearing this is making my head hurt.










Lastly, my favorite clothing item at Macy's...

Wait...what?

Scuttlebutt About the House

We might actually get the oven today! I will be happy to get the last one out of its' residence of the Middle of the Kitchen Floor! (Scott did not notice this for the first like...week it was there, and he'd definitely been at my house multiple times. In the kitchen, even!) Maybe I can bake things again in celebration! Mom has made brownie mix twice now and can't even pretend she was going to bake some of it.

Chris updated me with Linux on a fancy computer...but this version of Linux hates me and particularly is at odds with my monitor, which makes navigating difficult, to say the least. It's hard enough to try to log in when you get one blink of screen every forty seconds or so, but harder when you unminimize a window and for some reason it makes you log in again (with the blinking) and brings you back with windows from two days ago instead of two minutes ago. Hopefully a different version won't be so buggy. If not then Linux isn't impressing me much.

Also, really ugly IM application. I miss you, Trillian. ;_; When will you make a Linux version?

Dad is so funny. He's re...novating the garage (I guess, he says I'll be able to park in there at some point but I don't think I believe him) and a couple weeks ago he apparently shot himself in the thumb with the nail gun. He came inside and asked me if the dogs had been fed yet. I said no (because it was like 5:20 and their dinner is supposed to be at 6 but dad never follows that anymore,) so he fed them and went back outside. Apparently he drove himself to the emergency room. Why didn't he ask me? Did he really think I'd say "naaaaaw, you can drive yourself to the emergency room, sucka!?" Was he too embarrassed to admit he shot himself in the thumb? I didn't even know about it until the next day when mom told me (all gossipy-like) what he'd done. He still didn't mention it until I deliberately asked him how his thumb was. Looking at his fingers last week, it looks like he bruised his middle finger too. (He says he doesn't remember how that happened.)


Reminder to self: you wanted to watch Being Human, remember? Hope it doesn't suck, apparently Syfy picked it up which usually isn't promising. =p


Dessa got me a subscription to Entertainment Weekly. I disagree with their movie reviews. For instance, Tron deserved less than a B, and the King's Speech was definitely better than Harry Potter. There was some something about the Green Hornet movie (...eh) some people complained about 3D and low moviegoing in 2010, and something about Beiber dating/making out/"getting frisky" with Selena somebody...
(EDIT: How is it I mention watching the King's Speech to mom and get caught in a conversation about the last three generations of royals? Why does she follow the royal family anyway???)

There had to have been more in that magazine than that. Maybe I'll use it as wrapping paper for Dessa's birthday present. =D
DESSA WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY!?



Tune in next time for fashion do's and don'ts at Macy's.