Dogs V. Wildlife, Round Two

Last night, mom found the dog(s?) attacking a decent-size opossum (which, by the time I got out there, was playing dead and probably going "omg leave me alone aaaaaugh!")
So she was all like "remember that last time the dogs got a(n???) opossum and I ran in to get you cause I don't want to bag dead things if I can possibly help it, and you came out and it was gone cause it was playing opossum like opossums are wont to do? Yeah they have a(n??? nah, "an opossum" sounds stupid) opossum again and it might actually be playing dead this time too!"

So I said, "seriously mom you can't take care of it?" and she was all "nooo way," and since I'm mean and spiteful, I made Chris come with me too since he happened to be here. Sure enough, Loki was pulling a 10ish pound opossum around by the tail (She-Ra was watching him somewhat disinterestedly,) but, some Chris-footed encouragement got the dogs to leave it alone. Anyway, I went in and grabbed the shed key so I could go get the shovel if necessary, and Chris was complaining that Loki was all bloody, so I told him to just wash the dog already*. I got the shovel, and when I came back the opossum had his head up and was being very still, so I just watched him. Apparently he decided I wasn't being threatening (though I was planning to bust his head in with the shovel if he couldn't walk away,) and he got up and started high-tailing it out of the yard as well as he could with an injured leg. Well, I'm not about to run after a opossum and smack it with a shovel if I don't have to, and I wasn't really looking forward to getting blood and brains everywhere, so I watched him wander off until I couldn't see him anymore.

Chris was sortof washing Loki in the garage sink and was being all wussy about the blood and going "eee don't let it touch meee!" so mom and I made fun of him a little bit about that. Okay, I guess I'm used to blood cause of the whole vet-thing, but what's mom's excuse? Maybe she's just a little psychotic?

She-Ra had some blood on her cheek, so I washed it off and decided that brushing their teeth would be a good idea and why the hell didn't I brush their teeth after the skunk incident, gross.

Turns out She-Ra at some point had her mouth on said opossum cause her teeth were bloody too.


This is why I don't let the dogs lick me.



*(# of baths Loki's had this week: 5 and counting, apparently?)



I was going to post a picture of the skunk but I decided that'd probably be in poor taste.

Funk

So, Sunday night, I was supposed to work 12 hours because I was covering my shift as well as someone else's. I ended up working 9 hours because it was slower than molasses and I was allowed to go home. When I got home (thinking, of course, that I could like...go sleep or something,) my parents were fighting about the dogs, who apparently got skunked not ten minutes before I got home.
Which meant instead of sleeping I got to wash two smelly dogs.
Loki got a full-on face spray (divined from his face-funk, watery eyes, sneezing and rubbing his face all over the floor,) so I washed him first with Dawn, which actually cut down the smell a lot more than I would have thought. Then I washed him with the regular dog shampoo, and it was around that time that mom showed up with two cans of tomato paste, which she refused to dilute like I asked her to while I was washing She-ra outside. Have you ever tried to keep dogs from eating tomato paste off of themselves? Probably not, right? It's kinda hard.
Anyway, She-ra seems to have gotten a peripheral hit, as she doesn't smell nearly as bad.*
Two and a half hours and about thirty mosquito bites later I give up and shower and go to bed. Somewhere near this point I realize my hands smell kinda skunky courtesy of not wearing gloves. Shit, I guess I'll not be so tired next time.
The next day I tried out the baking soda/H2O2/Dawn trick, which seemed to work reasonably well, but every time the dogs (or my hands) get wet they smell skunky again. At least it's a faint skunk. Or I think it's faint, I might just be accustomed to it now.
It's all dad's fault for letting the dogs out at 9, which we never do.
They killed the skunk, but it was a baby and I know there is at least the mom and one other baby out there, maybe two babies, cause I saw them last month walking around the side of the house. Maybe the dogs won't be so retarded next time.



*This is what I think until I go to bed, when I discover that she does, in fact, smell pretty bad.


I had a dream in which I had a remote-controlled plesiosaur and could glide around not-really-flying and Robert Ott agreed with me that New Moon was a terrible movie, but I am 90% certain that the movie I had to watch in my dream was about 300x better than the actual movie, considering that it didn't have vampires or werewolves or literally any of those actors in it.

I seem to have mostly forgotten that dream, I guess I should have typed this bit before the skunk bit. Oh well.

Title Apathy

It is a strange strange thing to be coming home from work when the sun comes up. It's an absolute perversion of ...everything? But it's worse when your housemates wake you up. Also the neighbors. And planes. Cause, the real problem with going home at sunrise isn't that you're going home at sunrise, surprisingly, but that literally no one else in your general vicinity does so they're all...awake. And presumably chipper.

The other problem is I'm better at this staying up all night working thing than I am at getting up in the morning to work thing.

Also my phone hates me and doesn't believe in calendar alarms or something. Someday I will figure out what the hell, phone.

On the bright side, it was deliciously cool this morning when I got home. Summer over now, yes? Maybe? ...Working on it???

The real, totally unrelated question is: zombies or vampires?